Candy and Booze

Narrator:
February 28, 1849
Here begins the journal of Walter Graves, formerly a gunsmith. Tomorrow we leave Independence behind to begin our journey west to Sacramento. We must still purchase the supplies that our Conestoga wagon will hold to sustain us during our long trek.
I hope that my skill in sharpshooting will prove of some value.

Entry:
I here dun reckon that I, Walter Graves am the king of this god forsaken hell hole of a town. That's why I'm leavin' it, cuz these folk aint know a toilet from a barn owl and I tell ya the next time I step foot in this piss hole it'll be to paint these streets red.

- Walter Graves

Narrator:
March 1, 1849
Decided not to buy a package deal. I can do better on my own!
Purchased 1 ax, 35 16-oz. bottles of brandy, 35 boxes of 20 bullets, 23 pounds of candy, 40 6-oz. bottles of cinnamon, 1 fishing pole, 1 fishing spear, 1 grandfather clock, 5 10-lb. jars of grease, 1 guitar, 30 25-lb. kegs of gunpowder, 1 hatchet, 6 horses, 1 hunting knife, 175 5-lb. slabs of lard, 35 1-lb. jars of licorice, 16 16-oz. tins of maple syrup, 35 boxes of matches, 14 16-oz. jars of molasses, 17 6-oz. bottles of mustard, 13 6-oz. bottles of nutmeg, 2 oxen, 17 4-oz. bottles of peppermint, 1 pocket watch, 1 rocking chair, 30 4-oz. bottles of spearmint, 100 10-lb. sacks of sugar, 29 5-lb. sacks of tobacco, 22 gallon jugs of whiskey.
We will have to eat less each day.
From now on, no stopping until we are ready to drop in our tracks.
Traded 1 25-lb. keg of gunpowder for 1 dollar.
Traded 3 10-lb. sacks of sugar for 12 dollars.
Traded 23 25-lb. kegs of gunpowder for 95 dollars.
Purchased 10 oxen, 2 chickens.

Entry:
This trip can't be too far anyway! Everyone's worried that I stocked up on candy and booze. I reckon this dun be the damn best trip ever in the history of Earth!

- Walter Graves

My only problem is I couldn't afford a gun, a damn disgrace to my lords I know, but at the price of my new guitar and my rockin' chair... Don't forget the ol' grandfather clock too! Man I'm just gonna sit back and rock away til we reach that there Sacremento. Let's rock.

- Walter Graves

Narrator:
March 4, 1849
Got as far as Blue River today.
The ice looks like it will hold the wagon... So across we go.
Arrived at Westport today.
Saw buzzards circling today not too far from New Santa Fe. If I were superstitious, I’d call it a bad omen.

Entry:
Everyone was all piss scared cuz that there water was ice. Buncha fools. I say it dun make this trip easier. I pushed Yen off the wagon as we crossed, scared his ass shitless.

- Walter Graves


Narrator:
March 5, 1849
I have been elected captain of the wagon train. I am going to accept position of captain.
It is mighty cold today. We’re going to continue as usual.
Arrived at Lone Elm today.

Entry:
Well tarnations! I dun did get gotten elected president of this fine wagon train that we been followin' Those fools! I have yet to step foot out of my rockin' chair, they must like my tunes. I sure hope Little Girl knows where we goin'. Wifey and Keith were tryin' to complain, but I tell ya...that only makes me play louder! Yeehaw!

- Walter Graves

Narrator:
March 6, 1849
Saw a mountain lion not far from Blue Mound.
Went gathering. We found edible Burdock roots, edible Wild Onion bulbs and edible Sunflower seeds.

Entry:
That was the best thing I dun did saw this whole trip so far, that Lion dun scared Little Girl good! I told Yen to go out and pet it, he must've thought I was jokin', but I pulled my huntin' knife on his ass. Nobody defies my orders.

- Walter Graves

I dun did make my wife go pick some berries!

- Walter Graves

Narrator:
March 8, 1849
With such bitter cold weather, Wifey is freezing. We're hoping to continue.

Entry:
Wifey's bitchin' bout the cold. I say this cold weather is what makes my tunes sound so fine! McFinely aint whinin', nobody else whinin'. I dun gonna put my cigarette out on her foot while she was sleepin' maybe that'll warm her up.

- Walter Graves.

Yen has been stayin pretty close to Little Girl lately, I reckon' I gonna beat his ass tomorrow. He claimed to be givin her a blanket, but I tell ya, that boy aint nothin' but a disgrace to my name!

- Walter Graves


Narrator:
March 9, 1849
Today we reached Kansas River.
Not much else to do, but cross our fingers, and hope the ice holds.

Entry:
Kansas River, can suck my pecker. Ain't no fear when there's ice. Ice is the bridge of the winter I say, no harm done. Aint no one question my authority.

- Walter Graves

Narrator:
March 10, 1849
Passed the hundred mile mark today.
We suffered a terrible loss. Wifey died. We plan to continue immediately.
For a time today we feared we were lost. We were much relieved to find ourselves at an identifiable location, Saint Mary’s Mission.

Entry:
Wifey couldn't even make it 100 miles? What a disgrace! I dumped her ass on the side of the road, for that Lion I spotted that there other day. Everyone's cryin, I say good grief! I ain't tolerate quitters.

McFinely called me a harsh name after I kicked the body off my wagon. I dun reckon' I gonna buy me a shotgun next town we cross.

- Walter Graves

Those swine religious folk aint got no weapons! What a disgrace to America!
- Walter Graves

Narrator:
March 11, 1849
Sore feet today, but I'll manage. Saw Red Vermillion River.
The ice looks like it will hold the wagon... So across we go.

Entry:
Man my toes are freezin! I reckon it's a curse from Wifey! Oh lord! I forgot about curses!

- Walter.

Another river conquered. Everyone else took that damn bridge. I say piss on 'em.

- Walter Graves

Narrator:
March 12, 1849
The trail brought us to Scott Spring today.

Entry?
This place aint nothin but a pile of rocks and goofy folk. I ain't even gonna stop here.

- Walter Graves

Narrator:
March 13, 1849
McFinley came down with a bad cold, and I decided to increase fluid intake.

Narrator:
Good lord why! McFinely is the only man aboard this trek who understands me. I dun make sure he makes it to the next town. Keith blames me on this curse, but I tell ya once I get my gun, that dun curse will be broken.

- Walter Graves

Narrator:
March 14, 1849
A very sad day, Little Girl died. We will continue immediately.
We suffered a terrible loss. McFinley has died. We plan to continue immediately.
Mr. Lumare figured we would reach Alcove Spring today, and he was right.
Got as far as Big Blue River today.
The ice looks like it will hold the wagon... So across we go.

I punted Little Girl off her seat, I was just jokin' around I swear! I aint know she was gonna fall ontop of the horses and get trampled... It sure made McFinley laugh to death tho... When will these savages realize that I aint got time to waste on burials? We gotta make it to Sacremento. I think they're onto me...

Yen is in the corner crying, and I can tell he's out to get me... Keith hasn't said much in days... This trip just got interestin' I tell ya, aint nothin' like havin enemies!

- Walter Graves

Narrator:
March 29, 1849
Our wagon party is suffering from low morale. I decided to continue.
[name] came down with a bad cold, and I decided to continue as usual.
We suffered a terrible loss. Yen has died. We plan to continue immediately.
Encamped a while near St. Joseph Road Junction.


Entry:
Everyone was bitchin' for a rest, and I punched Yen in the face for makin' me get outta my chair. Aint they realize we got all the candy and booze we need?

- Walter Graves

I guess that hit to the face really took a blow to Yen, ended up dyin. I threw his body off the edge. Aint nobody complained.

It's just me and Keith now, ridin' it out like the good ol' days, I reckon he's pretty good with my guitar. Aint nobody sit in my chair tho.
- Walter

Narrator:
March 30, 1849
Narrator:
March 31, 1849
It is mighty cold today. We’re going to slow down.
Narrator:
April 2, 1849
A chicken died today.

Entry:
I don't know what happened, Keith was just kickin' it around.

- Walter Graves

Narrator:
April 5, 1849
Played cards with Mr. Tillman today while nooning near The Narrows. I suspect he cheats.

Entry:
That damn Mr. Tillman is a DEAD MAN. That dastard chewed me out of 30 bucks. I reckon I need a damn gun...


I gonna get 'em....

- Walter Graves

Narrator:
April 7, 1849
Terrible fog during the early part of the day. We chose to continue as usual.

Narrator:
April 8, 1849
Arrived at “The Coast of Nebraska” today.

Narrator:
April 9, 1849
Saw a mountain lion not far from Fort Kearny.
Traded 6 10-lb. sacks of sugar for 1 shotgun.
Purchased 1 blanket.

Entry:
That mountain lion is gonna follow us to Sacremento I just know it. Good.

I dun got me a shotgun from some poor fool, I spit in that sugar I traded him too.

Next on my list is Mr. Tillman. He's a dead man.

Also. The curse is broken.

I just got me a blanket... Damn it's cold

- Walter Graves

Narrator:
April 11, 1849
Duststorm today. We hope for rain. For the time being, we'll continue as usual.
I have been dismissed as captain. I will continue as a greenhorn.
Near Plum Creek, had a wagon train meeting to discuss our current circumstances.

Entry:
What? Those fools! We're doomed! I had us running strong. That damn Mr. Tillman took my place! I'm gonna damn shoot his ass!

- Walter Graves

Narrator:
April 13, 1849
This morning it was very foggy. We decided to continue as usual.

Entry:
I dun did shoot Mr. Tillman in the face last night. Nobody saw me I hope...

- Walter Graves

April 15, 1849
Walter Graves died.